The short of it

Another title for this blog post could of been – Body Image: Current status ‘its complicated’. Let me explain…

I’m just about to go away on holiday and for the past 11 weeks I have been religiously following the Weightwatchers Flex plan my aim to lose a stone before my holiday as well as running my usual 15km a week. As ever my commitment was unwavering and I exceeded my goal losing 17.5lb and over 10% of my body weight.

In a way that was the easy part. It has been an extremely hard journey to lose the weight this time round (I am now 45 and losing weight is getting harder and harder) but more importantly during this journey I have noticed some other significant changes happening to me. One of the biggest things that has happened is I have started to wear shorts!!!

Now thats probably not a big deal to most people but it is a huge deal for me…

Obviously a trivial thing like wearing shorts is the visible change but something much more significant has changed in me. Even though I have lost a lot of weight over the last 5+years (I was at my heaviest a size 20/22 and am now a size 10/12) I find it very hard to see myself and my body as ‘ok or even *gasp* quite good. These insecurities would mean I would wear leggings under dresses and go running in capri running tights even on the hottest of days.

Body image is a strange thing and however much other people tell you your body is ok unless you believe it yourself, it means nothing.

During the last 3 months I’m not sure why I started to feel different but I realised I was feeling angry. Angry mainly at myself for limiting my choices. Why shouldn’t I wear what I wanted? Why should I be hot and uncomfortable because I was worried someone might judge me? Was I really this stupid? Was I really this vain?

So, I bought some running shorts and I ran. And bought some summer shorts and I wore them. And you know what? The world didn’t end!!! No-one mentioned my admittedly wobbly thighs and even better I didn’t feel bad. I actually felt great. I felt free…and most importantly proud of myself.

Learning to love yourself is a journey thats for sure. But here I am, standing smiling in the sun wearing the kind of ‘short’ shorts I used to fear and a vest, embracing my new body, faults and all. I have bought a white bikini and will wear it by the pool and those running shorts are packed. My body is not perfect, but its better than it was. Its healthy and strong, my boyfriend thinks its sexy, it made a beautiful child and most importantly its the only one I’m getting!

More reading:

Find previous blogs about my weight loss journey here and here.

Find previous blogs about my fitness and running here, here and here.

Primark January sale buys

The other day we had to pop into Primark to buy a couple of bits for our sons and a few other bits. Being a lover of Primark I couldnt leave without quickly rushing through womenswear and grabbing a few sale bargains. What do you think of what I got?

Green batwing top £5 (from £10)

I love green and think the classic shape of this top will look great with skinny jeans, a statement necklace and heels. The zip detail on the back is also a nice touch.

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NASA t-shirt £2 (from £6)
I’m a bit of a geek and love space and sci-fi stuff. Now I can pretend I attended space camp back in the 80’s – best of all its a really loose fit so the size 8 fitted!

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Print and lace top £2 (from £5)
I bought this top first of all with the idea to maybe wear in bed with black leggings but its actually too pretty for that. Its very fine, lightweight jersey so I’m waiting for Spring to warm things up until I wear it.

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Clutch bag £2 (from £4)
I love pop art and basically can’t resist anything comicbooky like this. At £2 it would of been rude not to! I think its a really fun addition to my novelty bag collection.

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Sequin shorts £3 (from £6)
These are from YD the kids area! The size 12-13yrs would easily fit if you are a size 10-12 and the length isn’t too short either (although to be fair I’m 5’2″). I’m going to wear these with opaque tights and a top for nights out, in place of my usual play suits.

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A whole bag full for £14!!! What have you bought recently from Primark?

Playsuit fun

Yesterday I went to Bluewater shopping centre for a bit of quality time with my boyfriend.  We went shopping, had a Nandos and then a date night at  the cinema…it was perfect

Of course I had to look the part so I went for a Primark playsuit, black tights and Next ankle boots.  I am a petite 5’2″ and since losing a lot of weight, find playsuits really work for my frame.  I love this one as even though it has quite a busy print with its black collar and a black belt I added, it looks really smart.  Its has an elasticated waist so doesn’t swamp me and I also love anything with pockets too!

blueskygirlie in Primark playsuit via always a blue sky girl blog

blueskygirlie in Primark playsuit via always a blue sky girl blog

blueskygirlie in Primark playsuit via always a blue sky girl blog

I wore next leather ankle boots to keep the look cool rather than too dressy as I was wearing this mainly in the daytime.

blueskygirlie in Next ankle boots via always a blue sky girl blog

For my hair and make up I kept it simple with a few flicks in my straightened hair and grey eye shadow and neutral lipstick.

blueskygirlie in Primark playsuit via always a blue sky girl blog

Playsuit: Primark

Boots: Next

Belt: Vintage